My boyfriend recently broke up with me. He said his pastor made him realize he needs to get his life together before he can be with me...I don't understand why he can't get his life together and be wit me?...I mean ever since we broke up he still calls

Well, to be honest, because I don't know the details of the situation, I can't tell you why he and/or his pastor feel like he can't get his life together and be with you at the same time.

Here are my thoughts though based on what I hear, sense & feel from you:

1) "get his life together" can really speak about many things--it can relate to him & his finances, his devotion to God, his level of balance in all things, and even his sexuality. Anything in those areas that is out-of-priority can results in not maximizing who he is...which could call for a break in the relationship.

2) Your ex-bf may have problems that go deeper than what you know; so, although you may feel good about everything, the godly counsel in his life may see something that you don't see.

3) Him still calling you may not be the best, but most good relationships are built on a good friendship, which may be the reason why he still calls. If you are having trouble dealing with that emotionally (i.e. him calling but ya'll not being together), then tell him that & ask for space.

4) Pray & ask God if this is the person for you; and if it is, ask Him to guide you guys back together. Be patient, persist in prayer & use this time to draw closer to the Lord. Because truthfully, there is no need to be in a relationship where you are just being bf & gf but there is no real pursuit of marriage between the 2.

5) Pray that this is the best way, because sometimes, Christians can get "over-zealous" and employ methods that may be going beyond the call of duty but are not requirements of the Lord. And sometimes, pastors/leaders push these agendas that are such & so but did not consult them with the Holy Spirit's specific counsel on the situation. So, even though you don't understand & even though you may not agree, pray that, if this above is the case, that God, in His timing, would correct the situation supernaturally.

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